Thursday, May 06, 2004
"Late at night when you're not sleeping and moonlight falls across your floor"
In the stereo: Worry Stones
Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Long day. I had to stand on the way on the field trip. One bus came but we needed two, so we sqeezed 3 classes on one bus with 2 teachers (me included) and one male chaperone standing. I got nauseous. I was able to talk to kids in a class I haven't subbed in. The teacher had called me once but I was busy the days he needed. Most of the kids I talked to I had subbed in their classes years before. They were all very nice so I am kinda upset I never subbed in their class. The teacher is the type of person that takes a lot of warming up to until you see the real them. Until this year, he was pretty cold to me, not mean but just like ignoring. But this year, he talks to me and smiles in the hallway. Much better when someone treats you like that...
Anyway, a girl came in this morning and told me her mom said she wasn't allowed to go anymore. I trusted her and I probably shouldn't have. After talking to the secretary, I have all this anxiety over my bad decision of not having the office call her mom to verify. I always dwell over some things I have done. I still shudder about something I said to someone in 7th grade! I remember having bad anxiety when I told a kid "shut up" 2 years ago. I was long-terming in the 4/5 class and this one kid was driving me crazy. Lori assured me he totally deserved it but I just couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks. I was afraid he would tell his mom and I would get in trouble. I am so afraid of getting in trouble for stuff...I thought I wouldn't worry about being in trouble after high school!
Then, as if I didn't feel bad after school, I was driving home and someone cut me off. They were in a lane that only turned right and he/she went straight, having to get in my lane, which after the intersection is the right-most lane. I had to slam on my brakes and honked my horn loud but I really wanted to flick them off. I would have, 'cept there was a cop next to me. Of course he didn't do anything about the person who cut me off. So, after this happened, I cried. I don't know what is wrong with me, why that would make me cry. I have never cried when someone has cut me off. I don't know...
I keep wondering if I should write an email to Tim (the Worry Stones guy). I don't know what I would say cuz "Remember me?" sounds so...dumb. Hmmm...
Mom just came home and asked if we had seen the gas prices. This damn world is getting crazy...the cheapest we have in our area is now up to $2.01, with the most expensive in Gtown being $2.08 (for the cheap gas). Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Long day. I had to stand on the way on the field trip. One bus came but we needed two, so we sqeezed 3 classes on one bus with 2 teachers (me included) and one male chaperone standing. I got nauseous. I was able to talk to kids in a class I haven't subbed in. The teacher had called me once but I was busy the days he needed. Most of the kids I talked to I had subbed in their classes years before. They were all very nice so I am kinda upset I never subbed in their class. The teacher is the type of person that takes a lot of warming up to until you see the real them. Until this year, he was pretty cold to me, not mean but just like ignoring. But this year, he talks to me and smiles in the hallway. Much better when someone treats you like that...
Anyway, a girl came in this morning and told me her mom said she wasn't allowed to go anymore. I trusted her and I probably shouldn't have. After talking to the secretary, I have all this anxiety over my bad decision of not having the office call her mom to verify. I always dwell over some things I have done. I still shudder about something I said to someone in 7th grade! I remember having bad anxiety when I told a kid "shut up" 2 years ago. I was long-terming in the 4/5 class and this one kid was driving me crazy. Lori assured me he totally deserved it but I just couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks. I was afraid he would tell his mom and I would get in trouble. I am so afraid of getting in trouble for stuff...I thought I wouldn't worry about being in trouble after high school!
Then, as if I didn't feel bad after school, I was driving home and someone cut me off. They were in a lane that only turned right and he/she went straight, having to get in my lane, which after the intersection is the right-most lane. I had to slam on my brakes and honked my horn loud but I really wanted to flick them off. I would have, 'cept there was a cop next to me. Of course he didn't do anything about the person who cut me off. So, after this happened, I cried. I don't know what is wrong with me, why that would make me cry. I have never cried when someone has cut me off. I don't know...
I keep wondering if I should write an email to Tim (the Worry Stones guy). I don't know what I would say cuz "Remember me?" sounds so...dumb. Hmmm...
Mom just came home and asked if we had seen the gas prices. This damn world is getting crazy...the cheapest we have in our area is now up to $2.01, with the most expensive in Gtown being $2.08 (for the cheap gas). Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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